My precious girl, the numbers don't matter.

January 31, 2017

 

I remember the day you were born as clear as if it was just yesterday. Unlike your placid brothers you came into the world with a fierceness I was instantly in love with. You wriggled and swung your little arms in a rage while the midwives tried to weigh you. I like to think you were protesting even then about the scales and that gives me hope. 7.7lbs, complete perfection. The midwife said 'what a lovely weight, well done' and as I held all 7lb of you I knew I had to tell you that those numbers didn't matter.

 

Over the first year we visited the doctor, midwives and health visitors what felt like a thousand times and each time they would weigh you. With every little pound you put on I was congratulated 'what a lovely weight' they all say 'isn't she doing well'. But they can't weigh the first time you smiled at me or the first time your brothers made you really laugh from your belly. They can't weigh the sleepless nights that daddy and I have spent consoling you when your teeth were cutting. So I told you again those numbers don't matter.

 

You are creeping up to two years old now and after 20 months of growing right along the steady curve on the graph in your little red book you have suddenly hopped into a higher centile. The health visitor writes those numbers down and looks you over. She tells me that it'll be ok, that it's probably just a growth spurt, I'm not to worry.They tell me perhaps give you less milk or fewer snacks. They say I should keep an eye on you but  I'm not worried because she didn't weigh all the new words you can say or the way you can already point your toes in ballet class. There are no scales that weigh how determined you were to walk by yourself or how confident you are at nursery. So I tell you again that those numbers don't matter.

 

I won't put you on the scales again, I don't need to. I can see that you are healthy, you eat what your brothers eat and you never sit still for longer than a minute. Those scales can't tell me anything about you that we need to know. Those numbers don't matter.

 

You see My darling girl I need you to know that those numbers will never ever matter. That there isn't a machine in the world that can measure how funny and clever you are. No scales that can measure how your beautiful smile can light up a room or how your kind hearted nature makes you a joy to be around. Nothing can ever weigh just how much I love you or anybody else for that matter but more importantly than that precious girl, nothing will ever be able to weigh your worth. 

 

So as you grow and the world around you becomes obsessed with the digits on the scales and you are tempted to hop on, I want you to remember that those numbers just don't matter. That you are not the sum total of any numbers on any scale. That you are the perfect balance of all the things that make you who you are and there are no guidelines against which you can be measured. 

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